tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10515767746760943832024-02-07T22:10:37.705-08:00Our CDH Journey with Baby KadenThis is our story of our son Kaden. We found out at 18 weeks that Kaden had a 'congenital diaphragmatic hernia', CDH. Even though our outcome was not what we prayed for, we hope within Kaden's story you will find information, hope, support and links to others who can make the difficult journey a little easier. We are "The CDH Family"...Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.comBlogger73125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-49934624173797007932011-05-24T16:49:00.000-07:002011-05-24T16:53:57.983-07:00Been A WhileA lot has transpired since that last post. As most of you know, I miscarried in January at 9 weeks (the day before my birthday). Since then, we have given up on "trying" for now. At 40, I'm not sure it is in the cards for us. But, I have been working on a "labor of love" lately. It is called SweetBabyBump.com and is a Trying to Conceive, Pregnancy and Parenting website. As most of you know, I was big into TWW while I was pregnant with Kaden, and after his death went back while we were TTC. I got so much support there from my on-line friends that I wanted to create that experience for someone else. If you get a chance, go by and check it out. You will always find me there....Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-21236853719566850182010-12-23T07:52:00.000-08:002010-12-23T08:00:53.414-08:00CHRISTMAS MIRACLEIt has been forever since I updated Kaden's blog. This was always about our journey with him, not about what was going on in our daily lives. This time of year is particularly difficult for me. I know this would have been the Christmas where Kaden would have been old enough to really be excited about the tree and the presents. I remember that so well with the other kids and there is something magical about that age and Christmas. I know he is spending his Christmas with his angel friends. I know he knows how much we all love and miss him.<br /><br />This Christmas has brought us new hope. We are pregnant again and are praying with all we have that this will be our "bring home baby". So far, so good. It is hard not to be scared that something will happen, but I really have a good feeling and am enjoying every day. Please keep us in your prayers and I will keep you all updated.<br /><br />Hope you all have a great holiday season filled with family and friends and lots of love :o)Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-56162651563806529732010-04-03T10:51:00.000-07:002010-04-03T10:57:16.780-07:00Happy 1st Heavenly BirthdayA year ago today we began that horrible CDH rollercoaster ride. Getting to see Kaden for the first time, being so scared that things would turn out like they did. I wouldn't trade the 17 days with him for anything but I wouldn't want to relive them for anything either. We were such a mess...not prepared--like you could ever really prepare for that ride. I am sad today thinking about the "what should have beens" for you. We would be having a birthday party for you this Easter weekend, but instead I am just trying to get thru the day with my "best" face. In actuallity, these next 17 days are gonna be rough. It feels like it was yesterday, but a year has already passed. We all miss you terribly, and love you so much! I hope that you and Max get to have cupcakes!Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-40028090800467953712010-03-29T14:58:00.000-07:002010-03-29T15:02:09.550-07:00"Minor" disappointment :o(Well, looks like this little bean wasn't "sticky" enough to hang in there. I am not "devestated", but definately disappointed. We are excited to be trying again this month and I feel like we are finally on the right path to being able to get pregnant again. Keep us in your prayers, and maybe we will get a Christmas Baby! We appreciate all your support and will definately keep you updated.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-80976470481444393342010-03-18T17:12:00.001-07:002010-03-18T17:20:30.700-07:00Our St. Patty's Day Gift From Kaden<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3quq1j_8jT1v6WUEndCgeS6b-HDIANgw2bbEtXDwdg3PBWEz2YkoSY7mXCea-l2M4x-3JG3m3fk9POoKtm35IyJgq2hk7e_nfG3snAPbSJ8hdqV3LBs4Rashgy6HuEBxAZUCs0VjbK1k/s1600-h/019.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3quq1j_8jT1v6WUEndCgeS6b-HDIANgw2bbEtXDwdg3PBWEz2YkoSY7mXCea-l2M4x-3JG3m3fk9POoKtm35IyJgq2hk7e_nfG3snAPbSJ8hdqV3LBs4Rashgy6HuEBxAZUCs0VjbK1k/s400/019.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5450131244903558578" /></a><br /><br />First I would like to point out that my sweet little man is wearing his St. Patty's Day hat in the picture to the right. It was taken shortly after he was born, and before I got to see him. His Grandma Mary (who's VERY Irish) put it on him and took his picture. It has always been one of my favorites. Well, yesterday, on St. Patty's Day, Kaden sent his Mommy and Daddy new hope for a baby to love. After trying fertility treatments from August to December, we decided to take a few months off and give me time to heal--physically and emotionally. I knew I was not ready to give up our dream of having a baby together, so I took the time to get serious about preparing my "old" body for a new baby. I started an organic diet, minimal meat, no processed foods, etc. etc. and I started taking some natural supplements that were suppose to increase egg quality and overall fertility health. So, this month we decided to try again....but with NO fertility drugs, and just do the IUI! As you can see.....it WORKED!!!<br /><br />New baby Kuehl will be here approximately November 29, 2010! Just in time for the holidays! I have to say I was so dreading Kaden's 1st birthday coming and me not being pregnant...my little man knows my heart so well!!Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-33322574359486978202010-03-03T10:16:00.000-08:002010-03-03T10:27:41.327-08:00Eleven Months OldToday is the 11 month marker. Hard to believe that Kaden would have been a almost a year old. Time seems to be flying by so quickly. Not that I want it to stand still or anything, but as each day passes, I feel farther from him. This experience has been the hardest time in my life. And I think our inability to get pregnant again makes it worse. I really miss having Kaden in my tummy where he was safe and okay. I think back to the day he was born and how hectic everything was. I wish I could relive that time when he was here. I know I would do some things differently. I would give anything just to be able to hold him again, even though I only got to hold him once when we were saying goodbye. I miss holding his hands and touching his full head of hair. I miss his little feet. I just miss you baby.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-69896711870359665532009-11-30T16:47:00.000-08:002009-11-30T16:53:21.158-08:00Daddy's new tattoo in memory of Kaden Alex Kuehl<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid_B-6YOLRlA7-GVU36SejSpus4D-Ak46TWTjpDusBPakIfPBFWnWdsHwrAKrsDabyQjLPQpq1ygUI8TsIl2AkwNuWGg4IYgSMlPoXgmOXNeXI62u7zzb7ApEil-Qo64RUuXw8vZJ8Rb4/s1600/Kaden+tattoo.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid_B-6YOLRlA7-GVU36SejSpus4D-Ak46TWTjpDusBPakIfPBFWnWdsHwrAKrsDabyQjLPQpq1ygUI8TsIl2AkwNuWGg4IYgSMlPoXgmOXNeXI62u7zzb7ApEil-Qo64RUuXw8vZJ8Rb4/s400/Kaden+tattoo.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5410063275902271506" /></a><br /><br />Here is the finished product...After 5 1/2 hours of pure pain. Craig said it really hurt, and he had to lay flat, but it was nothing compared to what Kaden had to do in those precious 17 days. I am getting mine next. Something on my foot. Don't quite know what yet...Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-44534036889224495312009-11-20T12:27:00.000-08:002009-11-20T12:36:01.521-08:007 Month Angel~versaryIt has been seven months now since you have been gone from me. It still hurts like it was yesterday, but it does seem, somewhat, in the distant past. Life continues on without you, but you are never far from my thoughts. I have talked to other women who have lost babies, some of them over 40 years ago, and it seem that my pain of losing you will always be here-until we can be together again. But I am okay with that. It means that you will always be with me, even through my pain of missing you. I still look at your sweet face every day and miss having you safe in my tummy doing your Kung-fu-fighting. I really miss that. I had so much love to give you, we all did. I just hope that you can feel it still. We all really miss you, what we dreamed for you and wanted for you. I love you baby boy...Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-40802611986493614292009-10-16T12:25:00.000-07:002009-10-16T12:35:16.563-07:00Candles for our babies<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidtyFfQohjnVv5nm77yrZT1ADYIv7E5svP0GnPmz0WSJAhe__VOReFFCdAIdiVGoPdaI0GQPBnZPEI8mOs6-5wJY9TqvFjMvHmiM8_zlBLxucPTO6y6ODHVwXdrueSpji6KIcIpfBvAOE/s1600-h/9525_1126421006070_1393510629_30310780_7545747_n.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidtyFfQohjnVv5nm77yrZT1ADYIv7E5svP0GnPmz0WSJAhe__VOReFFCdAIdiVGoPdaI0GQPBnZPEI8mOs6-5wJY9TqvFjMvHmiM8_zlBLxucPTO6y6ODHVwXdrueSpji6KIcIpfBvAOE/s400/9525_1126421006070_1393510629_30310780_7545747_n.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5393281412832092610" /></a><br /><br />Last night was Infant Loss Awareness Night, and Craig & I (and all our friends) had dinner at our house and lit candles for just some of the babies that have touched our lives. It is so bitter-sweet...I was so sad that there were so many names to list (I am sure I forgot someone). All of our bags had the names of CDH babies, ones who's stories we followed, and ones who's families were such a great support for us during our journey with Kaden. There was just one baby, Brendon, that died from SIDS on Wednesday. His mom, Carrie, was one of my Two-week-Wait friends and she was very supportive of me during my pregnancy. Her twin boys were born about 2 weeks before Kaden. I know her pain has to be unimaginable. Please pray for her family during this extremely difficult time.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-872190280254325212009-09-22T16:17:00.000-07:002009-09-30T12:32:00.868-07:00Mommy's Letter to Daddy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiYdNc17V0LFDGf66w9xJHqV4ixmY4Y-njrv0MHmum3RojqCBYqk9rUsLMPJ09ZteGb_KlbMF8pfNIhlrhJhQMWxcIzgQ8dJbbaC6eliO8EFTIxQd1SXjgXBmXXNjrvQizzDXBdqCwzA/s1600-h/Matt+Garcia+SB+Tourney-02.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxiYdNc17V0LFDGf66w9xJHqV4ixmY4Y-njrv0MHmum3RojqCBYqk9rUsLMPJ09ZteGb_KlbMF8pfNIhlrhJhQMWxcIzgQ8dJbbaC6eliO8EFTIxQd1SXjgXBmXXNjrvQizzDXBdqCwzA/s400/Matt+Garcia+SB+Tourney-02.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384445263627312594" /></a><br />Now that things for the most part have returned to normal--whatever "normal" is for a family that has lost a child, I want to say some things to my best friend that for one reason or another have recently gone unsaid. I am so thankful that you found me, that you love me and that we have Jess and Christopher and Logan. I have never known a love like the love you give to me. I KNOW, without hesitation, that I am your world. That there is no one that you love more than me, and no one that I love more than you. Just thinking of you makes my heart smile and when we are apart (ie:you go to work) it is crazy how much I miss you. I know I have been an emotional roller coaster ride, not myself since losing Kaden, but you hang in there and love me still (sometimes it has to be difficult). I know it hurts you when I am sad, and it is not my intention ever to cause you pain or make you upset. There are things that I have to work thru in my own time, and just know that when I get sad it is not because of you, or something that you have done, but because I really miss our little guy. I am already so blessed to have 3 great kids that I sometimes feel selfish that I want another one. But my desire to have a baby with you is so deep it consumes me. I know it will happen, I am just trying to be patient. Anyway, I want you to know how much I love you--not that "I love you" ever goes unsaid in our daily life. But when I say it, I really mean it....Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-273283148951128512009-09-03T09:09:00.000-07:002009-09-03T09:22:19.509-07:00Happy Bithday Baby Kaden (and Max)Today is Kaden's 5 month birthday. Times seems to be flying now. With the recent passing of Jackson, Ireland, and MJ, those horrible feelings seem to creep up on me when I least expect it. It is hard to get over losing a child, but when you see other parents--deserving parents--losing their child, too, it is hard to move on. I am brought right back to my grief everytime one of these babies loses their battle with CDH. I relive in my mind what it felt like to have to remove Kaden from support-to have to make that "final" decision. In essence, to give up on him. I know Kaden is in a better place, and no longer suffering, but this whole situation is just wrong. I never thought I would ever lose a child-ever. I'm sure no one ever does, but the question as to why we are chosen to go thru this is very painful to me. I am hoping that part of the reason Craig & I were given Kaden is to help raise awareness for CDH. I know myself, and I would never be as passionate about making a difference if I, personally, had not lost a child to it. A piece of me will never be the same. There will always be a hole in my heart for the baby that I never got to know. <br /><br />Mommy loves you, Kaden, and misses you terribly.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-33949165034803087252009-08-30T11:28:00.000-07:002009-08-30T11:29:33.431-07:00Praying for Mikey, Chanda and TristanI just want you guys to know that we are praying for you. I am so sorry....It's just wrong...Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-13269886203051155772009-08-21T18:46:00.000-07:002009-08-27T19:18:55.536-07:00The 4 Month MarkerJust thought I would pop in and give a brief update. Yesterday marked four months since Kaden passed away. I sure do miss that little guy. The days are getting easier, I still have my moments, but I am starting to look forward to the possibility of being pregnant again (hopefully soon). Craig and I had a really great vacation, just the two of us. I have been following all the other babies that have made their arrivals, and the emotions that come thru their blogs brings me right back to the NICU--like it was yesterday. It is amazing how those feelings get burned into your being. Does that make sense? I was deeply, deeply, deeply saddened to hear that Jackson Beal earned his wings while we were gone to Mexico. His story was so similar to Kadens, and I was praying so hard that their outcome would be different than ours. Candice and Rob are in our prayers during their healing. The days after can be a serious emotional roller-coaster. Also praying for Ireland who made her entrance into the world two days ago. She is on ECMO now, but doing good and getting the rest that she needs for her surgery. Mikey and Chanda-you guys are in my thoughts constantly. It really stinks to have to go thru all this, especially after a c-section. <br /><br />Anyway, just want you all to know that we are still here, taking it day by day:)Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-77696605487811936002009-07-29T22:17:00.001-07:002009-08-27T19:22:18.103-07:00From DaddyI just wanted to say hey to everybody. I really miss my baby boy, Kaden. His whole family misses him...especially his brother Logan. Mommy misses him the most. Anyway, just wanted to give you all an update on daddy. I'm doing pretty good. I really have a hard time when Kristi is feeling down. I love her so much and can feel when she's in a funky mood. I just want her to be happy. I want her to be happy ALL THE TIME!! I know that this is a hard thing to go through for a family, but I, as a father, just want to make it right. <br /><br />I am still happy that I got the 17 days with my son KADEN. Yes, I'm still upset that GOD took him from us, but that was his plan. I am still so sorry that my wife and I lost our only child together that we had been trying to conceive for over three years. But, I am happy that Kaden's story has touched so many people in this world. He was AMAZING!!! I will always love him.<br /><br />Good news is...we will be trying again after we get back from our 1st vacation together as husband and wife. I KNOW that we will succeed in conceiving another BEAUTIFUL baby that has NO probelms what so ever. I really look forward to that.<br /><br />I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH AND THANK YOU FOR STILL SUPPORTING MY FAMILY.<br /><br />WE WILL BE IN TOUCH SOON.<br /><br />LOVE THE KUEHL FAMILY<br />(Craig)Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-79703879359977977062009-07-27T10:01:00.000-07:002009-07-27T10:11:15.311-07:00Therapy SessionNo, not a professional therapy session (I probably do need one) but just a "blog" therapy session. For some reason, these past few days have been extremely hard for me. I don't know what brings it on, but it hits me like a freight train. I think yesterday it was brought on by me trying to "clean" his room in preparation for a visit from Papa and Nahnee. I found myself drawn to look into his box of "special" things: his foot and hand prints, his hats, lock of his hair....you get the idea. I cannot even bring myself to take his name down off the wall. Even though I know that Kaden will never sleep in the crib, or play in the swing, or sit in the highchair. But I still have all those things ready for him. I feel so let down by God. Could He not see how much I wanted and needed Kaden? I feel broken and alone in my grief. I know there are others that feel pain LIKE me, but not MY pain. I have fears of never being able to get pregnant again, never getting to bring home a baby that is mine and Craig's. Wanting Kaden to come back to me. I want him. Painful...Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-35195586445349847932009-07-22T15:22:00.001-07:002009-07-22T15:25:32.590-07:00My CDH Ribbon<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVG4-Zfj7GLK5dkSiPyHUhnxBhf5v-CnnLNwuh1Xy3n9rxZ0mQxZwEveNHTkBbxUsOOEOszK2x4KAfO2uR8W_uRMJxsLCWtNlU1G_3qleOTPH-peCNRVbAQpAb9ZF4-iEehmdMvN9kSQ8/s1600-h/0722091505.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVG4-Zfj7GLK5dkSiPyHUhnxBhf5v-CnnLNwuh1Xy3n9rxZ0mQxZwEveNHTkBbxUsOOEOszK2x4KAfO2uR8W_uRMJxsLCWtNlU1G_3qleOTPH-peCNRVbAQpAb9ZF4-iEehmdMvN9kSQ8/s400/0722091505.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5361413687609622562" /></a><br /><br />I am so excited! This just arrived. Ashley and I found a lady when we met up in Arkansas that does stained glass, and I had these made for each of our little guys. It turned out so good. Hopefully, Ash, yours comes soon!Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-71374055748674794962009-07-15T09:58:00.000-07:002009-07-15T10:23:15.973-07:00Mixed EmotionsI know it has been quite a while since I have posted. Kaden's three month marker was on July 3rd, and we went back to Arkansas for my 20 year class reunion on the 4th. It was great to be home. I had not been back in over six years, and I got to reconnect with all my closest friends from high school. It was hard going there with no baby to show off, but everyone got to see Kaden in our pictures. It was a healing time for me. Ashley, Max's mommy, came to visit for a couple of days and it was like we were old friends, not two tragically linked mommies meeting for the first time. It was so good for me to have that time with her.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD911opvAt-A9Vpf9k_xSd6P1Kda0ctq16XIvDhe68hrkYwOAcT68WeIY_knWlr59UnG1aFjbO-UcVakz-60XajZXtVj7URgiXWsULSv3LoXIT1wnyo7sWPKX-moy461TTq-4HXEvWaGA/s1600-h/Kristi+20yr+Reunion-029.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD911opvAt-A9Vpf9k_xSd6P1Kda0ctq16XIvDhe68hrkYwOAcT68WeIY_knWlr59UnG1aFjbO-UcVakz-60XajZXtVj7URgiXWsULSv3LoXIT1wnyo7sWPKX-moy461TTq-4HXEvWaGA/s400/Kristi+20yr+Reunion-029.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358735402621578066" /></a><br /><br />As for us, we are back on the "serious" baby making journey. Our first appointment is Monday, and I think we may be able to actually start the injections then. Keep us in your prayers that it works and doesn't cost us a fortune! It makes me so happy just to know that we are able to try now. This is the month that we conceived Kaden so I am hoping he will being us good luck :)<br /><br />I am deeply deeply saddened to hear that baby Avery lost her battle with CDH last night. It brings back such painful memories for me and I know how difficult the decision is to make. Please pray for Shane, Carissa, and Kaitlyn as these next few weeks will be difficult. They will need all the support they can get, and it seems like they have alot of great people who love them. I know it was the support of our friends,family, and even complete strangers that got us thru the loss of Kaden. We would have been lost with out them.<br /><br />I will try to be better about updating more, but like I always say, I am still following all of your blogs and praying for you all. I miss my Kaden every day, but I am beginning to work thru my sadness and move forward. Mail your envelopes!Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-62070327253851825522009-06-04T09:15:00.000-07:002009-06-04T09:50:38.032-07:00The Two Month MarkerYesterday marked the 2 month birthday for Kaden. I tried to post last night, but couldn't. It was an emotional day for me and I received alot of phone calls and text messages, and even a "thinking of you" card from all the nurses and doctors that took care of Kaden at UCSF. So I was on the emoitional rollercoaster yesterday thinking alot about him and what it would have been like to have an 8 week old baby in the house. I talked to Ashley (Max's Mommy) yesterday, and it is nice to be able to vent and share feelings with someone who knows exactly how I am feeling. Max & Kaden share the same birthday, just one month apart, so we will forever be "connected" in that way. Like I said yesterday, I cannot think of Kaden without thinking about Max. That will never change and I pray that they are together playing in heaven. For those of you who have lost babies to CDH, you may understand the things I am about to say. We, as parents, go thru things in the moments that we make the decision to let our babies go peacefully. For Kaden, it may have been peacefully, but for me it was gut-wrenching. I think about those moments all the time and second guess our decision. After talking to Ashley, she made me realize that we sometimes have to make decisions on what is best for our children, not for us, and I do not know the quality of life that Kaden would have had had we made the decision to do everything until he gave up on his own. It is just so painful to think that I took his life away, and I cannot get the image of him opening his eye to look at us for the first time. Everyone tells me that he was looking at us to say good bye, but in my mind he is looking at me asking me not to let him go. I still to this day cannot look at that picture. <br /><br />I am sure all these feelings are very normal, I just seem to keep them all at bay until I am alone, or it is a "marker" day. I am sure it is normal to hate this CDH with every fiber in my body, and feel so helpless and I feel like I made Kaden suffer for my own selfish "wants". I look at the pictures of him on ECMO, and there is no way that baby was "comfortable". Paralyzed, maybe, but not comfortable. I understand that ECMO saves MANY CDH babies, but in my case it did not, and all I am left with are gruesome pictures of what I did to my beautiful son. I know I would feel totally different if the outcome would have been different, but it wasn't. I hope Kaden knows that we made decisions for him based solely out of our deep love of him and if he suffered in any way, I am so sorry. We just wanted you so bad. I sincerely apologize if I offended anyone with this post. It seems to help me to start to "vocalize" some of the things that go thru my head that I feel I cannot speak to anyone. Not very many people in my life can truely relate to what I have going on.<br /><br />Craig & I are taking Logan and Jessica back to Arkansas the 4th-13th of July for my class reunion. Christopher is there right now, for two weeks. He couldn't go with us because he starts football camp on the 22nd. I am excited to get to see all the people I went to school with, but have some anxiety about going to a reunion 3 months after giving birth with no baby. I am sure we will have to tell the story to many, but hopefully it will raise more awareness for CDH. I continue to follow everyone's blogs and know that I am praying for you all :)Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-43516720851141017532009-05-19T13:48:00.000-07:002009-05-19T15:06:56.910-07:00One Month Since Kaden's DeathTomorrow it will be one month since Kaden grew his wings. As I said before, I come to the blog almost everyday and try to post, but when I try to gather my thoughts I get really sad again. These days I am just trying my best not to be sad all the time. I have a wonderful husband and 3 other, great, kids that I need to be here for. Don't get me wrong, some days it is really tough just to be functioning, but I can tell Logan, especially, is really tuned into how I am feeling. I think it scares him when I am sad so I do my best to be "normal". It seems like so much longer than a month. I really miss having Kaden in my tummy--moving around--all safe and sound. It was just me & him most of the time during my pregnancy and I would talk to him alot about what I wanted for him and had planned for him. Now I will never really know him. I wonder all the time whose personality he would have had, what he would have looked like (especially since I really only remember what he looked like swollen),how close him & Logan would have been, how much Jessica & Christopher would have spoiled him rotten (just like Logan). I think those thoughts are what pains me the most. I pray that some day soon I will be able to look at his picture and have it not make me cry. I sure do love him and in some sense am afraid that life will go on and he will fade from my memory and I will have to look at his picture to remember. Does that make sense?<br /><br />I had my 6 week check-up with my regular OBGYN yesterday. I actually don't even remember making the appointment, but got the reminder call on Saturday about it. I was sick thinking about going and on Sunday night I lost it. I came on to the blog and re-read our journey and cried hysterically. I did not expect that we were going to get the outcome that we did. But we did. So now I have to find the strength to move on. Dr. Snook, my OB, was great to me yesterday. He talked to both Craig & I and discussed the grieving process as well as some local support groups. I got a clean bill of health, and he said we could start trying again in July if we felt we were ready. I know July seems really soon, but since we will have to go back to the fertility clinic, I was actually extremely happy that we weren't going to have to wait 6 months to a year for my c-section to heal. I hope at least some of you can understand that I want a baby with Craig so bad. Kaden was that for me. And after trying for over 3 years to get him and me being 38, I know our chances of having a baby that we get to bring home get less and less the longer we wait. If God chooses to bless us again, with another child, it will never replace Kaden and what he means to me (or any of us). So keep us in your prayers for that, too.<br /><br />I want to say thank you again to everyone for their continued support. I know sometimes it is hard to know what to say. And if for some reason I am not answering your phone calls or immediately returning your emails, it is because when I have to talk about how I am doing it still upsets me. No matter what I am doing, I am immediately having to think about Kaden and my feelings. So for now, just bear with me and know that I know that everyone is concerned and I love you for it! Also, I do still read and check up on all of you. Even though I may not leave a comment, I am still praying for you all and your little ones.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-63011121143982345712009-05-03T12:49:00.000-07:002009-05-03T13:04:22.250-07:00One Month Ago TodayI know everyone has been wondering how we are doing. I have come to the blog many times to post, and then just couldn't do it. Overall we are doing okay, but it is taking everything I have some days not to just stay in bed and be sad. Kaden would be one month old today, and it seems like so long since I saw him. I miss him so bad and would give anything to have him here. I know you all understand. Our friends have been great keeping us busy and supporting us. I just know when Craig goes back to work on the 12th, and I am alone again, I will have to start dealing with my deep sadness. Sometimes I wish I could put everything out of my mind and get some peace, but everything reminds me of Kaden. It is so hard to understand why this happened to us, or any of us. Those of us who have lost babies to CDH--we all would have been great parents. I don't know why that opportunity was taken from us. It is hard not to get mad--I just want my son. <br /><br />I have been keeping up on everyone's blogs. I haven't been posting, but I am thinking of you all and praying for you and your little one's on this journey. No one should have to go thru this...Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-28815133884903678142009-04-25T09:55:00.000-07:002009-04-25T10:55:12.526-07:00Kaden's Funeral Service- Beautiful!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5weDyYotjsGF3IhNqDVwVUpYfs2bqeDyBe6azzbl6bu-eLZDZX8PEfMITALc9MSwGSrp55-_Do70891IsbT7X4kCaKchXb6Lk7i0TkTPI-IRewEj7rqa_oaSUIle1seqTil2FiEgBCX0/s1600-h/0425090958_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 386px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5weDyYotjsGF3IhNqDVwVUpYfs2bqeDyBe6azzbl6bu-eLZDZX8PEfMITALc9MSwGSrp55-_Do70891IsbT7X4kCaKchXb6Lk7i0TkTPI-IRewEj7rqa_oaSUIle1seqTil2FiEgBCX0/s400/0425090958_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328686605808103554" /></a><br /><br /><br />Kaden's Funeral Service was yesterday...it was so beautiful. Kristi and I are so happy with the turnout. Once again, there was such a show of support and love for Kaden and our family. <br /><br />About 5:30 PM, our family was escorted by CHP motorcycles from our house to the Funeral home. The whole motor squad from my office volunteered to escort us on their own time. We felt very honored that they wanted to do that for us. We arrived at the Funeral home and immediately sat in the family area in the Chapel. Around 6 PM, the service started. Chaplin Rick Stonestreet conducted the service for Kaden. It was a beautiful service which touched each and every person in the Chapel. I would estimate between 175-200 people attended the service....standing room only! Our good friend Naomie Pruitt read a letter prepared by Kristi thanking everybody for their support and trying to raise awareness for CDH. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOY46fSTMwUEiJZL92tcVHVEB7f6Pq9AP5ZmRKJgccuz0Ny0L7liOhkZ62bf63yKWrpgoR0-3LLJCAZoI-J7Wp-DObExkYZ_5IGt05CH-XhlrtXLVqkwdCT-shEF_hfntWM3_8n8VAi54/s1600-h/0423091636_1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 110px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOY46fSTMwUEiJZL92tcVHVEB7f6Pq9AP5ZmRKJgccuz0Ny0L7liOhkZ62bf63yKWrpgoR0-3LLJCAZoI-J7Wp-DObExkYZ_5IGt05CH-XhlrtXLVqkwdCT-shEF_hfntWM3_8n8VAi54/s200/0423091636_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328687171908304578" /></a>Naomie did a great job and we appreciate it. After the service, we were escorted back to the house by the CHP motors to celebrate Kaden's life. I would estimate about 100 people came to the house for the celebration. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgonfoz5TpbwrAXL18qTbzmIWg2YevV5Q0ipdoCUP5NkS3290EtoYzyjUMDX8NOv_TkHIxslKstTGLovex29ilaL5UkDctCHxA6kQrOa959zqApZXO1jfDZJLurUHkEphbTBHt18nJWcBw/s1600-h/0424091553.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgonfoz5TpbwrAXL18qTbzmIWg2YevV5Q0ipdoCUP5NkS3290EtoYzyjUMDX8NOv_TkHIxslKstTGLovex29ilaL5UkDctCHxA6kQrOa959zqApZXO1jfDZJLurUHkEphbTBHt18nJWcBw/s200/0424091553.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328687772550044834" /></a> We had a ton of food and drink that was provided by several family and friends. It was so nice to see so many of our friends that we had not seen in quite a while. We ate and drank until around 1:00 AM celebrating Kaden's life and enjoying the company of our family and friends. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaqSZgUj41dPd9_EvabiYr10zD0Odm3ZIirHWFAVmDPTIsIB1ervsngnXyFGtZnbO1jJw4t4gryM24CNZstzn5yOXQ9YF9lLpuylJAHXx_6DvJ_EI41teHbTKCNGZ3RXfFKDBHiYSOH7o/s1600-h/0425090958a_1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaqSZgUj41dPd9_EvabiYr10zD0Odm3ZIirHWFAVmDPTIsIB1ervsngnXyFGtZnbO1jJw4t4gryM24CNZstzn5yOXQ9YF9lLpuylJAHXx_6DvJ_EI41teHbTKCNGZ3RXfFKDBHiYSOH7o/s320/0425090958a_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328686894388238434" /></a><br /><br />It's looking like we will have a good amount of donations in Kaden's name to give to the "Nayeli Faith Foundation". There were a lot of people yesterday that were educated about CDH. I'm sure that they will pass on that knowledge that they gained from Kaden's journey. Please continue to keep those donations coming for the "Nayeli Faith Foundation" or any other CDH support group. <br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZciYc2WiNG5u6t2wb0okTXYuI-WRNVy1FtBORYCVbIGYWJJqG5fB1iswnvNrK8h_KBVybbV-k0EOpMUPpdji6IUuPwcAO-Gr7GM3e4-FfGYprSsP5vsr2P9L2jLlL2WlafCVK-rPdHLY/s1600-h/0424091534_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 340px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZciYc2WiNG5u6t2wb0okTXYuI-WRNVy1FtBORYCVbIGYWJJqG5fB1iswnvNrK8h_KBVybbV-k0EOpMUPpdji6IUuPwcAO-Gr7GM3e4-FfGYprSsP5vsr2P9L2jLlL2WlafCVK-rPdHLY/s400/0424091534_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328687428261505234" /></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihWw7O9-lEDQ4NmWUAaNzD_aNT0dbPkacblE0JDazEOk8E2vf1ed-SfTrm9awqUAq153HcWlt33EXanFv1L27wuOXYPlbkTB4GHXAQbeNmpthyphenhyphenXIB4fmtjthpIgpC4xKe6DR-tAh7cvCk/s1600-h/0424091535.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihWw7O9-lEDQ4NmWUAaNzD_aNT0dbPkacblE0JDazEOk8E2vf1ed-SfTrm9awqUAq153HcWlt33EXanFv1L27wuOXYPlbkTB4GHXAQbeNmpthyphenhyphenXIB4fmtjthpIgpC4xKe6DR-tAh7cvCk/s400/0424091535.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328687592922365314" /></a><br /><br /><strong>BELOW IS A PICTURE OF A LAMINATED CARD WITH KADEN'S INFO ON IT. WE RELEASED ABOUT 75BALLOONS WITH THESE CARDS ATTACHED FOR PEOPLE TO SEE AND TO RAISE AWARENESS FOR CDH WHEREVER THESE BALLOONS LAND.</strong><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2wzse5tI87cFO2Z4AMQ-RSMbK_ofpm4ez1Hu_DOSd5fdjP2XwGm0bJS6GnbwlnJQplmdJJUvldVRi3DMTq3at-WjRBAhpe3vR42cDAkJc2cMJFfsKtPc9r-Ih06IP6At9EqRXZgv1rac/s1600-h/0425091027_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 217px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2wzse5tI87cFO2Z4AMQ-RSMbK_ofpm4ez1Hu_DOSd5fdjP2XwGm0bJS6GnbwlnJQplmdJJUvldVRi3DMTq3at-WjRBAhpe3vR42cDAkJc2cMJFfsKtPc9r-Ih06IP6At9EqRXZgv1rac/s400/0425091027_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5328687970692229298" /></a>Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-61921356913919250862009-04-23T15:57:00.000-07:002009-04-23T16:09:47.821-07:00A BIG surprise from my TWW girls!Before I got pregnant, and while we were trying, I found a website called "The Two Week Wait". I would chat with other women, like me who were trying to concieve. Then, when you get pregnant, you move over to the "pregnancy boards" and they group you into your "due date month". Well, I was obviously an April mommy, and there I found friends, and support thru my whole pregnancy. They were really there for me when we found out that Kaden had CDH, and always had plenty of prayers and kind words for Craig & I. I haven't really gone to the board for about a week, until today and one of my friends, Sarah, set up a link for the girls to be able to make a donation on-line that will go to the Nayeli Faith Foundation. Here is the link:<br /><br />http://www.fundable.com/groupactions/groupaction.2009-04-22.9076975617/<br /><br />Craig and I continue to be so touched and in awe of the support we have gotten from all our friends and family as well as complete strangers. We are beginning to realize what Kaden's purpose was--we know he has touched so many of you and brought awareness to CDH. Craig and I are committed to raising awareness so that research can be done and more babies born with CDH will go home with their families where they belong.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-27347945414802499092009-04-22T12:05:00.000-07:002009-04-22T12:23:47.755-07:00Services for Kaden Alex Kuehl<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOerKdJ2gh85wQSpxQJjlLaqRVbDS7TXPvPHWh575q1PZReRdfRqB-g2XizEu-3_K4LcBJmues5GPqVxFGWXckWVtbvZzWrL01HYaEPij4xaXq_nX6ppc3qanyaMI7X-SOq9W4rPhXcZE/s1600-h/April+09-45.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOerKdJ2gh85wQSpxQJjlLaqRVbDS7TXPvPHWh575q1PZReRdfRqB-g2XizEu-3_K4LcBJmues5GPqVxFGWXckWVtbvZzWrL01HYaEPij4xaXq_nX6ppc3qanyaMI7X-SOq9W4rPhXcZE/s400/April+09-45.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327598613387074626" /></a><br /><br /><br />Services for Kaden Alex Kuehl will be on Friday, April 24, 2009 at 6:00 P.M.- At <br /><br />Bryan-Braker Funeral Home<br />1850 West Texas Street<br />Fairfield, California 94533<br />(707)425-4697<br />www.bryanbraker.com<br /><br />We will be having a get together at our home after the funeral services to celebrate Kaden's life. All are welcome that would like to attend. We will have some food and beverages at the house. Our address is:<br /><br />1815 Kolob Drive<br />Fairfield, Ca. 94534<br /><br />In lieu of flowers, we are asking for donations in Kaden's name to the "Nayeli Faith Foundation". The "Nayeli Faith Foundation" was started by Shane and Liz Nelson who's daughter Nayeli, a survivor, was born with LCDH at UCSF. The foundation assists parents and children with CDH at UCSF. Shane and Liz started this foundation because they know first hand the costs associated with being at the hospital for extended periods of time.<br /><br />Checks can be mailed to:<br /><br />SLPOA C/O "Nayeli Faith Foundation"<br />901 E. 14th St.<br />San Leandro, Ca. 94577<br /><br />Put in MEMO section: In memory of Kaden Kuehl<br /><br />We thank you all so much and look forward to seeing you at the service and gathering at our home after the service.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-18759651139205466532009-04-21T21:13:00.000-07:002009-04-21T22:20:42.214-07:00Back home<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgpaiNmLTGH0VfxtCdiQLJhnALR319BeNFHOiJLlbdyidtIfD76iquhg5EkYjSZxRHbIn9zMNUWJ4a0kZ6ln8gEvhZe3Ma_mpOpxTSgka_n6v_7McinXK2mKgkxdBfeOeCKxlvl8uyHVE/s1600-h/0420091248.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgpaiNmLTGH0VfxtCdiQLJhnALR319BeNFHOiJLlbdyidtIfD76iquhg5EkYjSZxRHbIn9zMNUWJ4a0kZ6ln8gEvhZe3Ma_mpOpxTSgka_n6v_7McinXK2mKgkxdBfeOeCKxlvl8uyHVE/s400/0420091248.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327378958481859234" /></a><br /><br /><br /><strong>ABOVE IS A PICTURE OF KADEN TAKING HIS FIRST LOOK AT HIS MOMMY AND DADDY PRIOR TO HIS JOURNEY TO HEAVEN YESTERDAY</strong><br /><br /><br /><br />We have now been back at home for 24 hours. I did not want to be here this soon. I expected to be at the hospital for a much longer period of time....however long it took to take Kaden home with us. That did not happen and I'm still so angry about that. Anyways, this post is not about my anger. I just wanted to thank everybody for all the support that our family has received during this difficult time. We have worked on service plans for Kaden today. It is looking like it will be Friday, April 24th at 6PM at Bryan-Braker Funeral Home in Fairfield, Ca. Kristi and I still have to go down there tomorrow to make final arrangements. I will be sure to let everybody know by tomorrow evening when the plans are for sure. We are going to be asking that everybody in lieu of flowers make a donation to the Nayeli Faith Foundation that assists CDH families at UCSF. We will be posting information for the foundation tomorrow. <br /><br />I also just wanted to share a moment that Kristi and I got to share with Kaden yesterday afternoon. Right after our meeting with the doctors, we went back to Kaden's bedside to spend all the time we could with him. As Kristi and I were talking to Kaden, telling him how much we love him and that he was going to be okay in Heaven, Kaden opened his little swollen eye to take a look at his mommy and daddy for the first time. This brought big tears to both me and Kristi's eyes. We are guessing that Kaden knew what was going on and that he wanted to see us before he made his journey to Heaven. We both felt such joy in being able to see Kaden's eyes for the first time. <br /><br />Like I said before in past blogs....No matter what the outcome was for Kaden....we were going to continue to fight and make the world aware of CDH. This NASTY birth defect took our son and I will not be happy until we get the word out there to everybody. I want everybody in the world to know what CDH is and how bad it affects families throughout the world. I contacted the "Oprah Winfrey" show today as well as "The Dr.'s" telling them about Kaden's story and how we want to let the world know about CDH. I would love for Oprah to have us on her show and get worldwide publicity for CDH Awareness. Maybe if more people knew about this birth defect, they would fund more research to find a cause for it. Kaden deserves that as well as all of the other CDH babies that have gone to Heaven.<br /><br />Once again, I would like to thank everybody for the tremendous amount of support that they have shown to Kaden and our family. I would also like to thank everybody at UCSF Medical Center for taking such good care of Kaden during his 17 days of life. Dr. Roberta Keller, Dr. Liz Rodgers, Dr. Carlos Botas, and Dr. Kat. RN's Stephanie, Cheryl, Kim, Ali, Crista, Jane, Sue, Nicole, Michelle, Mel, and all of the other RN's that took care of Kaden and us. We would also like to thank our OB nurse Sarah. Sarah was so caring and nice to us from the first night we went to UCSF. She checked on us several times as well as Kaden throughout the time we were at UCSF. Sarah also follows our blog....so thank you Sarah for your support. We would also like to give thanks to Stephanie Berman, our Social Worker. She took great care of us from the first time we met her. She really busted her butt to make sure that we were close to Kaden the entire time. <br /><br />We would also like to thank everybody from Solano CHP and the Cordelia Scales for their generous donations to help us with expenses. It was very costly being at the hospital for 17 days. It will definitely help. Thank you to Grandma Mary for coming out here from South Carolina to stay at the house and take care of the kids for the last month. Thank you to Jose for assisting with whatever we have needed through this entire time. Jose has been with us the entire time every since we found out that Kaden had CDH at week 18. Jose was always there to help. Thank you to Auntie Megan for bringing us dinner so many times and keeping us company so many nights at the hospital. Thank you to Liz and Shane for all of your support and love for us and Kaden. We know that you are hurting too as well as many people are. Thank you to Shannon and Naomie for buying (4) pizza's last night before we even got back to the house so that we wouldn't have to worry about dinner as well as assisting us with the funeral arrangements and being there for the kids. Thank you Jacqueline and Eddie for making the beautiful photo album of our Journey with Baby Kaden. Thank you to Desiree and her mom for bringing us boxes full of groceries today. Thank you to Anne for bringing us dinner for tonight....everybody loved it. I want to also thank Richard and Leslie Ruff for sending us money to assist us. Thank you for all the support that we have received from our CDH family and everybody that has prayed for us and followed Kaden's blog. Thank you for anybody that we forgot to mention. I have alot on my mind and I'm sorry if I forgot to mention anybody. And last but not least, thank you to all of the families that have lost babies and still continue to support us. We love you all so much! <br /><br />I would also like to tell my mom (Debbie) and Grandpa Bobbie as well as all of the crew that is with them cruising in the Caribbean, we love them. I tried to send my mom an emergency message through her travel agent to let her know what had happened with Kaden yesterday, but she did not get the message in time. She had to find out by logging on to the blog....I feel terrible about that. Mom- Please don't be upset. We love you and know that you love us and want to be here. Once again....try to enjoy your vacation. I still feel in my heart that you are here with us.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1051576774676094383.post-70185451248443073972009-04-20T22:05:00.000-07:002009-04-20T22:48:00.410-07:00Kaden has lost his battle with CDH<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYjASwJnKlUPNF6K3yApPqEtviuZyVVNjSaapks4fKdOQ-JQXn8kyJxS_fYTQspNFpfLZbRuNxTBwXcLG4VAVyLggeXyQyEB49o4ENdtGyfNipmk4_-J3uxv0PICHAY-1MyY3Zsq4c80/s1600-h/0420091843_1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 383px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQYjASwJnKlUPNF6K3yApPqEtviuZyVVNjSaapks4fKdOQ-JQXn8kyJxS_fYTQspNFpfLZbRuNxTBwXcLG4VAVyLggeXyQyEB49o4ENdtGyfNipmk4_-J3uxv0PICHAY-1MyY3Zsq4c80/s400/0420091843_1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327016982572892050" /></a><br /><br /><strong>KADEN ALEX KUEHL---APRIL 3RD, 2009 - APRIL 20TH, 2009. WE WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!!</strong><br /><br /><br /><br />Kaden Alex Kuehl has passed on and went with God to be with the Angels this evening at around 6 PM. He lost his battle with CDH after a hard 17 day fight. Kaden went peacefully in his mommy and daddy's arms. <br /><br />This morning when Kristi and I got up to go to see Kaden, we entered the NICU and saw that Kaden's stat's were not well. He was down it the 50's for his upper O2 levels, and low 30's for his lower O2 levels. He was still on the osilating ventilator with high settings. They had tried to lower his O2 setting down to 70 overnight. Kaden was not having it! When the doctors came around and saw that Kaden was still stating low, they put his O2 setting back up to 80 percent. That got his O2 levels back up to around the high 70's, but he was still splitting by about 30 between his upper and lower O2 levels. We were very worried right off the bat. One of the doctors came in and told us that we needed to have a family meeting. We knew that this was not good. <br /><br />Kristi and I went into the meeting with our hearts in our throats. We were both having major bad feelings walking in there. We sat down with the doctors and then it came. The doctors told us that they had come to the point where they had nothing else to assist Kaden. They told us that Kaden was so sick that he was not going to live. They said that Kaden was at the very highest level of support, and that they had never had a CDH baby on that level of support for this long period of time that had survivied. They gave Kaden a ZERO percent chance of survival. Prior to having this meeting with us, one of the surgeons came by to check on Kaden's status. The surgeon said that even if we decided to have the surgery done, he would have a very minimal chance of being able to recover from the surgery. The doctors said that Kaden's functioning lung was just too small to make his body work right. Even if we did get the surgery done, and Kaden was to survive it, he would still be on maximum support and would die when we took him off support. We had to make a decision.....take Kaden off support and let him pass peacefully with us, or he could die from an infection or heart failure due to his little body working too hard. This was the hardest decision Kristi and I have ever had to make. This was the hardest thing both of us have ever had to deal with. We love Kaden so much and have always thought positive thoughts for him, but as I told the doctors in our meeting...you don't have to be a doctor to see that amount of support that Kaden is on and how sick he is. Kristi and I can both see everytime they try to bring the support level down just a little bit, Kaden does not like it. His stats immediately dropped and he cannot recover until they brought the support back up. Like I said.....this was the hardest decision of our lives. We did not want to prolong the pain that Kaden was going through. He got the best treatment possible....he just didn't have enough lung!<br /><br />Kristi and I both got to hold Kaden in our arms for the first time this late afternoon. They gave us a private room so that we could be with Kaden alone for the first time. Kaden passes peacefully and without any pain with his mommy and daddy. This was a sad time...we wanted so much for Kaden to beat CDH and come home with us, it just wasn't meant to be. God has another purpose for our son Kaden. Kristi and I were both happy to be able to spend these 17 days with Kaden. I thank God that he did not take Kaden the night of his birthday and gave us these 17 days to spend with him. I will never forget those 17 days. <br /><br />After Kaden passed, we got to give him his first bath, get him all cleaned up, and take some photos. Kaden got to be held by his loved ones before we left the hospital.<br /><br />We are now at home and are very sad, tired, mad, and just about every other emotion you can feel. We really don't know what to think or feel.....I feel like we are in a nightmare. That's about all I can handle for tonight. I just thought it was fair to let everybody know that Kaden is in Heaven with his CDH friends, and family. Every night after I prayed to God for Kaden to get well and overcome this CDH, I also talked to Kaden's Great Grandma and Grandpa Dieterle who are both in Heaven and asked them to take care of Kaden until mommy and daddy get up there to be with him. I have a good feeling that Kaden is with grandma and grandpa right now. <br /><br />Kristi and I will be starting to arrange services for Kaden tomorrow. We are very tired and can't really think straight right now. We will let everybody know what's going on with another post tomorrow.<br /><br />As for Kaden's Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Bobbie who are on a cruise in the Carribean....I'm so sorry. We are so saddened by Kaden's passing and we know that you will also be. Kaden is in a better place now and he is not suffering. I don't want you guys to have your cruise spoiled due to Kaden's passing. We both knew that it was a possiblilty when you left yesterday that Kaden might have a hard time....well it did happen. We love you all and know that you are here with us in your hearts. Please try and enjoy your cruise. I will try to get an emergency message to you tomorrow. We love you!<br /><br />Thank you everybody for all your thoughts and prayers for Kaden and his family.Craig and Kristi Kuehlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01823742035504045016noreply@blogger.com67