Sunday, May 3, 2009

One Month Ago Today

I know everyone has been wondering how we are doing. I have come to the blog many times to post, and then just couldn't do it. Overall we are doing okay, but it is taking everything I have some days not to just stay in bed and be sad. Kaden would be one month old today, and it seems like so long since I saw him. I miss him so bad and would give anything to have him here. I know you all understand. Our friends have been great keeping us busy and supporting us. I just know when Craig goes back to work on the 12th, and I am alone again, I will have to start dealing with my deep sadness. Sometimes I wish I could put everything out of my mind and get some peace, but everything reminds me of Kaden. It is so hard to understand why this happened to us, or any of us. Those of us who have lost babies to CDH--we all would have been great parents. I don't know why that opportunity was taken from us. It is hard not to get mad--I just want my son.

I have been keeping up on everyone's blogs. I haven't been posting, but I am thinking of you all and praying for you and your little one's on this journey. No one should have to go thru this...

22 comments:

  1. I have been thinking of you all day today. It was tougher for me when David went back to work. Some days I have trouble making sense of it all- in fact, sometimes it seems like it never really happened and all was some bad nightmare. Hang in there and know there are many people thinking of you/praying for you. I am here whenever you need me.
    Ash

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  2. Of course you would have been a great parent to Kaden. We think of you all the time and hope you're doing okay. You are in our prayers now and always.

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  3. We think of you everyday. I am here for you anytime of the day. You are in our prayers.

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  4. We're continuing to pray for you and you're in our thoughts daily!

    Jen

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  5. You and your family are in our prayers and thoughts.

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  6. I check your blog everyday and have been thinking of you.. It is so hard to lose your precious angel..My heart is with you and pray for u to have strength and courage!
    Blessings and Hugs,
    Joanna

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  7. You are such a beautiful person. None of this seems fair and it's completely uncomprehendable. I pray that you can truly feel how much you have been cared for and loved by all of us that are perfect strangers. The one thing I've learned from CDH....that we are all truly connected and I never knew that I'd feel so much for families like yours. I hope this brings you some comfort because YOU and a few others in this world that share their personal experiences touch me as I have never been touched. ...much love to you and your family, another stranger...this one living in UT...Chanda

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  8. Hi Kristi,
    I've been thinking of you a lot lately. I really am so sorry that you lost Kaden. I hate CDH, I feel like I'm walking on egg shells everyday with Jaime. You can never relax and enjoy your baby, not even for a moment. It's such a hard disease to comprehend.
    Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you, as we are all in this together!
    Just because Kaden is an angel, doesn't mean you're out of the CDH club! We love you guys and want to support you as best we can!
    Hang in there...saying a special prayer for you and your family tonight!
    Hugs,
    Sheryl

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  9. Thinking of you daily! I wish I could do something to make everything better...I wish that no more babies were lost to CDH or anything else. No parent should hae to go through this... it isn't fair, you're right we would have been great parents to our angels. I'm keeping you all in my prayers to find peace.

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  10. kristi, i think you and craig are fantastic parents. kaden was so blessed to have the two of you by his side cheering him on and i know he's looking down from heaven and is sooo proud of his momma and daddy.

    i still think about you everyday and pray for you. i too, find the situation to be so unfair and i'm so sorry you are having to face this. to lose a child would be one of the most difficult things that i could imagine, well, that any parent could imagine. it feels so backward to have your child in heaven before you. but knowing that kaden is up there just makes heaven that much sweeter. i can't wait to meet that little kung fu fighter one day. he has and always will have a very, very special place in mine and matt's hearts, as will your family. keep us updated as you can. we love you guys!!!

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  11. I'm glad you wrote, I do a quick check everyday to see if your blog is updated. I am praying for you and I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Hoping for better days ahead for us all!

    Hugs,
    Lisa (mommy to Angel Ava)
    www.caringbridge.org/visit/avarosedaher

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  12. I continue to pray for your family.
    I am confident God will comfort you and help you through this.
    Blessings,
    Angel Joseph's "grammy"

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  13. Krist - I think of you all the time, and am still praying that you find peace and understanding through this. I'm so glad your family and friends are there keeping you busy. Stay strong, and know that you are loved!

    Stephanie
    Brooke and Kamryn's Mommy

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  14. Craig and Kristi,
    I have actually be following you blog for a little bit as a non-blogger person(but I am now :D), and I am so sorry for your loss. Please know though that through your blog, I feel I know where God is leading me in the surgical world, and that is to work on peds. I pray and hope that comfort will find its way to you and your family soon.

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  15. I can't believe it's been a month since that little miracle came into the world. I know we don't know each other personally, but your journey with Kaden has deeply touched me, and I already feel like it has made me a better person and a stronger mother. He had a purpose here, to spread awareness about CDH and to show people how truly beautiful and delicate life is. Thank you.

    ~Sarah from TWW~
    (sddewdrops)

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  16. So sorry to hear about your little boy, I have just stumbled across your blog by accident really.......well maybe it was fate.. you see my daughter Fallon was born with left sided CDH in 2003, she is our 4th baby, her spleen and kidney were in her chest cavity as well as part of her bowel, the kidney had rotated sideways and partially blocked the hole in her diapghram which in turn saved her life as it kept things working in a fashion. She had her surgery and is now a healthy 6 year old who has just started school. She is our miricale baby. Her story is on the Cherubs website under "Fallon Jessica McClelland" We live in Australia in the middle of New South Wales- middle of no where really! Your little man is in our thoughts
    Leah - Mum to Jake 12, Britt 10 , Laine 8 and Fallon 6

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  17. I'm thinking of you constantly and hope that you can find peace. I don't know what you are going through or the pain you must be feeling. I just hope that God can give you the strength during t his time.

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  18. I just wanted to say, that my thoughts and prays are with you and your family, I hope you are ok with me checking out your Blog from sarah and Ryans blog. I know I'm not in your shoes, but it's ok to be mad and sad and if I might give you an idea it might help you with your grieving Scrap Book everything that is his, if someone else is doing it for you, make one of your own to. Put you thought and feeling in it, I promise it will help, when my husband and I lost our first I was lost, mad and sad all @ once. I hope this is ok to say I just felt I need to say this heavenly father knows you are hurting and he and your little one are with you. If you want to check out my Blog read Feb 4th. Your story has truly touch me, I hope my e-mail to you is ok for me to leave for you. Jolene http://sophiecamp.blogspot.com/.

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  19. I'm thinking and praying for you!

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  20. Think of sweet Kaden and your family today.

    Praying in Texas.... still.

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  21. Hey Kristi. Not a day goes by that I don't think of little Kaden and all the other CDH babies lost. You are right, they should be here with us and nothing will ever make it "right". I hope that you are doing "okay" during this grief process. I have no other words other than I am thinking of you all and praying for you and I am here if you need me!
    Love you!
    Ash

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