Kaden in 4D at 28 weeks

Prepare yourselves--He is QUITE CUTE! I am even more in LOVE than before--if that is possible. He has MY nose & lips, but he sure looks like Daddy and Logan. He definately has Craig's jaw line :) He LOVES his hands!

Today is My Birthday!!!

Talk about the ticking biological clock...I am 38 today!! I can honestly say I don't feel 38 (whatever it is suppose to feel like). Craig & I were in bed yesterday talking about when we were kids, and our parents turned 38--how OLD we thought they were. Craig asked Logan last night how old he thought mommy was, and he said 60! Out of the mouths of babes.... Honestly, I feel so blessed to be pregnant at 38, and feel like I am much younger (at least 35). Things have been going really well with Kaden. I swear this boy is going to be a UFC fighter. He moves from "transverse" to "head-down" at least twice a day. I looked it up yesterday on the internet and I found an article that said at this gestational age they do a "bicycle" movement to get into different positions--I swear he is practicing for the Tour de France! I am also excited that my friends are throwing us a co-ed shower on the 31st! I am looking forward to seeing so many friends (alot that we haven't seen since we became pregnant) and even getting to meet some new friends in person for the first time (yes, I mean you--Liz & Shane). Since Craig is a CHP officer, alot of our friends are kinda all over the place--close, but not close enough to get together like we would like. I am also very excited that my Mom is going to come from South Carolina. This means the world to me to be able to have her here for a few days while I am still pregnant. She is planning on coming for a month when Kaden arrives to help with the household and Logan since Craig and I will have to spend alot of time at UCSF in the NICU. I am so truely blessed to have such a great support system :)

Got the call from Kaiser today...

I am sooo excited. For those of you who don't know, Kaiser, our primary HMO had to REFER us to UCSF for evaluation. Even after the two consults with UCSF, Kaiser was putting up a pretty good fight for me to continue my care at a Kaiser facility since we decided not to do the tracheal occlusion. Well, Dr. Lee (the head of the Fetal Treatment Center at UCSF), said not to worry and worse case scenario we would have to just go to Kaiser for the growth ultrasounds but still be able to deliver at UCSF. I was okay with that, but I really wanted UCSF to just take over my care. Well, today I got a call from the genetics counselor at Kaiser and she said that Dr. Lee spoke with the perinatologist at Kaiser and requested that UCSF take over our case completely--and they approved it!!!! Even though I am not considered a "high-risk" pregnancy, I am considered a "high-risk" birth. I will still get to see my regular doctor at Kaiser for my blood-work and non-stress tests, but all the important things will be in San Fran!! It totally made my day and took alot of stress out of my pregnancy...ANOTHER ANSWERED PRAYER!!

2nd Appt. at UCSF January 7th, 2009

We JUST got home (4pm here). It was a long day....

Here is my FAVORITE pic from today. It is his face--you can see his open mouth, his nose and his eyes. I know that ultrasound pics are so hard to 'see', but look at it for a while and you can see he is quite adorable!

It went pretty good. Kaden's lung-to-head ratio was about the same 1.1 to 1.2 vs. 1.0 to 1.2 last time. Dr. Lee said he would still to the tracheal occlusion for us if we wanted it, but after discussing all the risks involved, we just could not bring ourselves to do it. He said he felt we were making the right decision (I LOVE this man!)--which is a hard thing for him to say because he wants to be able to do the procedure for the study, but because they cannot give a difinitive answer as to the benefit at this early stage in the study (they have only done 7 tracheal occlusions) the risks are to high to be ignored. If they told us Kaden's LTH ratio was .8 or less, we would probably do it, but with 1.4 being the best, I am okay with 1-1.2. The harsh reality is that any baby with CDH is only given a 50/50 chance at survival at less than 1.4. I would never be able to forgive myself if we did the procedure and something happened because of it and Kaden didn't make it. We have decided to continue to let God work his miracle and pray that he will heal him after he is born and he will be in the 50% that survive.

On a good note. He was still measuring about 5 days ahead on growth and his estimated weight was 2 lbs. His heart, while still on the right, still looks normal and is beating strong! The team says he look really good and healthy, and they can see lung tissue developing--even a small amount on the left side. So I remain extremely hopeful that we will be able to play out the hand we are dealt and that Kaden will do well. If there is one thing that I have learned along this journey is that NO CDH BABY IS THE SAME. I have found so many parents that have gone thru or are going thru what we are and you cannot compare "numbers to numbers" Babies that have had next to no lung tissue at birth have lived and are thriving (after hernia repair and long NICU stays) and then there are babies that had LTH ratio's over 1.4 that did not make it. It all has to do with how well they respond to treatment after birth. Just continue to pray that Kaden will be one of the babies that can fight the long, hard FIGHT!!

My phone must have rang about 20 times during the appt. Everyone has just been so great to us and concerned for our little guy. I know we say it alot, but your prayers and support are invaluable to all of us.

I am saddened by the news...
Tonight I am praying for the families whose babies lost their CDH battles this week. Their pain is unimaginable and my heartfelt condolences go out to them. You think you can prepare yourself for either outcome, but the pain of the loss of your child, after such a fight for life is hard to understand. And to have to expalin it to your other little ones is even more painful. I know how difficult it is for Logan (he is 5)to understand that his baby brother is "sick", and how it will be really confusing to him if by God's choice we don't get to bring Kaden home. They are just so young, they expect us, as adults, to be able to fix anything.

Just by chance....

First off, I want to say that Craig & I picked Kaden's name the day after our ultrasound when we found out he was a boy. BEFORE we knew there was a problem. We THOUGHT the name meant "companion". The day of our first appointment @ UCSF, I was on the phone with Liz Nelson (Nayeli's mommy) and she mentioned that Kaden meant "warrior". When I mentioned it to Craig, he was like "I thought it meant companion". I was thinking, that's what I thought. I really just forgot about it until I started making this blog and I noticed on Liz's blog for Nayeli that there are 4--count them FOUR--baby boys with CDH named Kaden. I have to be honest, it gave me a nervous feeling. THEN,I remembered what Liz had said and I decided to look up the meaning of his name again, and it does mean fighther/warrior!! NOW I understand the name choice, but we picked Kaden BEFORE we knew about the CDH....God really speaks to us every day in subtle ways! I just thought I would share....